Alone Excerpt: Hints of Religious Mysticism

NOTE:

I will not be blogging about my experience on the Camino de Santiago during the months of September and October. You can follow me on Facebook where I will be posting occasional pictures and comments. To follow either “friend” me on Facebook or use this link: https://www.facebook.com/brian.heron.73/

Every Monday during this period I will post an excerpt from my book, Alone: A 4,000 Mile Search for Belonging—excerpts that I believe reflect many of the assumptions and experiences that have become the basis for this current Pedal Pilgrim work.

Alone Excerpt: Hints of Religious Mysticism

Pages 99-100 in Yellowstone National Park

The highlight of the afternoon was standing on the overlook for Lower Yellowstone Falls. I nearly wept at the stark beauty and raw power of the water as gravity forced it over the rocks and sent it crashing down hundreds of feet. I had the strange experience of wanting to lean into the energy of the falls, to feel its power and soulful, violent movement, as if it wasn’t enough to observe it from a distance. Of course, I knew I couldn’t, as a few more feet toward the edge would have sent me torpedoing toward the bottom, like the water. I would have gotten the experience, but not lived to tell the tale.

I remembered the first time I had that experience in Racine, Wisconsin. My wife and I lived in a house on mile east of Lake Michigan. I often took walks over to the lakes and along its rocky beaches. When it wasn’t too cold (and it often was!), I would head over to the edge of the lake in the winter. The waves were often three, four, even five feet high, and would come crashing in against the rocks and blocks of ice that had formed. I had that same strange yearning to jump in and allow my body to be carried by the crashing waves. I wanted to experience what the waves were experiencing. At the time, my thoughts unnerved me a little. Did I have a death wish? Was my longing about wanting to die?

Years later I discovered the language of the mystics that described this longing to be one with all of life—the ocean, mountains, lovers, family, food, dance, and work. I’ve had that same feeling many times since and know now that it is not a death wish, but simply a desire for union and communion in its deepest form. Now I meditated on the falls before me, felt gratitude for its sublime beauty and power—and greedily yearned for more, much more.