Front Row Seats
There has been a slight lapse in my regular posting. In recent weeks I have been spending much of my time setting up a new office and business as well as daily treks to the hiking trails, swimming pool or bike paths to rehab my injured calf. I have been trying to get into a regular pattern of two blog posts per week as a practice. I have more than enough material to digest with you. That’s not the issue. The issue is that 90% of my energy is going toward the logistics of launching something new.
The lapse in my blog posts has been due to my own self-imposed standard to save you all from the details of dozens of logistical issues and decisions that have to be made even before I launch into this full time. Decisions such as:
What am I going to do about medical insurance come November 1?
How much road time is this project going to require?
What do I do about my house while I am on the road?
If I shift to more of a road lifestyle how will I adjust my contacts with my children and grandchildren so that we don’t lose quality even with the loss of quantity?
What does it mean for my friendships to spend much of the year on the road?
Who will be my primary community?
How do I stay physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy?
And on and on and on…
I have titled this post “Front Row Seats”—not because whatever this production I am choreographing is super special, but because I realized that the personal pre-planning for this pedal pilgrim project is just as much the real message as the project itself.
I am trying to cultivate a pilgrimage culture. But even my attempts at doing this reveal just as much about the pilgrimage life as developing a particular pilgrimage route does.
That wouldn’t be the case if I was doing this the conventional way. If I could report to you that I just received a grant or sponsors or venture capital or even a paid position, then all the personal pre-planning wouldn’t really be worth sharing. There would be nothing new to teach or to report except, “Guess what? I just received funding to develop a pilgrimage culture. Here we go!”
No, this crazy thing is a pilgrimage itself and how I choose to navigate the terrain to put it in place is just as important as the project itself. Another way of putting it is that process matters just as much as the product.
Why is that? Because this project is simply the result of feeling a deep calling in my spirit and in my bones to follow the path of my soul’s yearnings. That’s what is going on here. And, I have been around long enough to know that we have a whole culture of people who also yearn to honor the aching of their soul, but don’t know how to take the first scary step.
You saw the questions I am asking above. Questions about medical insurance, housing, financial security, family, friends and community. The truth is this is just plain fucking scary!
But that’s the point, right? I am a person committed to the pilgrim path—with all of its uncertainties, challenges, obstacles, blessings and, yes, knee-knocking fear.
In recent weeks I have been consumed with dozens of big and little logistical challenges. Quite honestly, at times I have been almost paralyzed by fucking fear. In recent days I have been first trying to conquer the fear so I could have something meaningful to say. Thus, the lapse in posts.
Silly me. I should have already known this lesson. The path IS the message. And right now, what’s showing up on the path is a pretty heavy dose of paralyzing fear.
Sorry I’ve kept you all in the lobby these last few days. Front row seats for everyone from here on out, I promise!
It won’t always be pretty, but it will be true and honest…and a reflection of the pilgrim path.
Brian Heron
Cultural Innovator and Spiritual Pilgrim