Honing and Shedding
It’s almost becoming a mantra now: The process has at least as much of a message as the end product. As many of you are aware I am working to cultivate a pilgrimage culture in America after the example of the Camino de Santiago in Spain and the British Pilgrimage Trust in Britain.
But setting myself up to do that is proving to be as much of a personal pilgrimage as the pilgrimages themselves. Two things became exceedingly clear this past week and they are worth sharing. I am calling them honing and shedding.
HONING
I just finished teaching at a week-long camp at Seabeck Conference Center in the Puget Sound of Washington. A few weeks ago, as I was seeking the essence of what I bring to this work and to the world today, I found myself writing these words in my morning journal: I write. I experience. I interpret.
This past week marvelously confirmed that, but with a slight tweak. The week was so rich, and I was so appreciated, and felt so completely at ease that I found myself saying, “I write. I experience. I teach.” As I emerged from the week of teaching I realized that what made it so rich for me (and, I think them) was that I relied solely on my past writing and past experiences to share a little about what I have learned about “Life as Pilgrimage.”
Many of you know that I spent the better part of the last thirty-five years in church ministry. There is much that I loved about that, but ordained ministry also felt constraining in that I often let my experience of truth take a back seat to the truth of a religious tradition. This past week, I was teaching at a Christian Family Camp, but I came not as a pastor or as a church representative, but as a spiritual pilgrim. That made all the difference and I was shocked by how much ease showed up in my body as I spoke from my own experience, my own thinking, and represented only myself.
It also told me this. I was at my best this week when I was sharing about my own pilgrimage experiences and the writing that has emerged from them. Most of the teaching was from my two pilgrimages (the one captured in my book Alone (2011) and the other (2014) still in blog form that I called “From Rome to Rumi”). I can’t see the picture completely yet, but I have a feeling that my time going forward is going to be spent balancing these three things—having personal pilgrim-like experiences and writing and teaching about those experiences.
Thus, “I write. I experience. I teach.” Those words feel pure and true.
What is happening is that I am finding my most authentic voice during his honing period.
SHEDDING
Secondly, I am clearly “shedding, shedding, shedding.” I am not sure exactly what this is going to look like, but it is clear that I am removing any and all barriers from my life that might hold me back from doing this work.
My son and I are in the final weeks of preparing my house for short-term rentals.
I have the camper/car combination I need to live on the road year round, if needed.
I have canceled annual memberships that keep me tied to the Portland area.
I’ve set aside being in a committed romantic relationship for this period.
I am beginning to talk to my friends and family about shifting our patterns of connecting.
I will admit that occasional waves of anxiety and grief overtake me, but they don’t paralyze me. I feel absolutely committed to this work and letting it unfold. But the level of change and trust that is required is often sobering—some days more than others.
It’s all good, though. Honing and Shedding. If I am going to commit to this work, honing and shedding need to happen first.
Brian Heron
Cultural Innovator and Spiritual Pilgrim